Ugandan Wedding

Recently, someone was telling me about weddings, marriage proposals and bride prices in Uganda. She said that times were just beginning to change, but for the most part, offering a bride price, or dowry, is still the custom here.  She said for her, the price would probably be around 10 cows.  She explained that for women such as herself who are educated, they usually fetch a higher price.  She then asked one of our male colleagues, and he confirmed, “yes, not more than 10 cows” which I was told is the equivalent of 15-20 million Ugandan shillings, or 6-8 thousand US dollars. I was floored. I asked what if you fell in love with someone that couldn’t afford such a price? I was told it would take patience. There are no shortcuts.

As luck would have it, I was invited to attend a wedding reception with a friend this past weekend.  I met her at the site, which was a short boda (motorbike) ride away.  After a slight rain delay, the reception began.  The guests were seated under a series of tents that all faced the center where most of the activities took place. The husband’s family was seated to the left, the bride’s family to the right, and then the remaining friends and guests, such as myself were seated in the center.

View from my seat of the reception area showing the main tent in the middle, bride's family's tent to right and DJ area in the back right corner

It started as wedding receptions often do in the U.S., with the formal entrance and announcement of the new couple.  There was an MC for the event, who mostly spoke in English and also did translations in Ateso, the local language for this area.

Bride

Bride & Groom

Guests escorting the happy couple to their place

Then the bride and groom went to the cake table to begin the cake ceremony, which we were told is a very important custom. It was similar to that done in American weddings, but more elaborate and formal.  There were many different cakes. They had sparklers on them which were set to light, along with other bigger sparklers that went off as the cakes were cut.

Wedding cakes

Lighting sparklers

Big sparklers

The couple then were positioned to feed each other the cake.

Ritual of the couple feeding each other cake

Afterwards, they walked over to each of the sets of parents and those who had helped in the wedding plans to offer them cakes.  Afterwards, the remaining cakes were cut into small pieces that were passed around on plates to the guests by the bridesmaids. It was a nice appetizer, and who can argue with getting dessert before dinner!

Couple walking around to give cake to parents

The bride and groom then briefly departed to change clothes. While they were away, there were speeches by the parents from both sides of the family and their respective clan leaders. The speeches were all in Ateso, and my friend helped with some of the translations. Then the bride came out in her new dress, and a game of sorts ensued where she was escorted around to look for her groom who was hiding somewhere in the crowd. 

Bride in second wedding outfit

Afterwards, all guests who had brought gifts were asked to come forward, and a line was formed to take the gifts to the couple while music played. Guests walked/danced their way to the couple to give them their gifts (there was lots of music and dancing going on throughout the event).

Next we had dinner, which was delicious!  My friend ‘s family kindly brought me a plate that was loaded up with all kinds of goodies! To explain the below photo, I'll start from the bone and go around as if it's the face of clock. At 1:00, there was some kind of meat (pork, I think?), around 3:00 was a sweet potato, at 4:00 was posho (the Ugandan version of Ugali, made from white corn flour), to the left of that a fried potato, then at 6-7:00, the yellow stuff is matooke (this is a traditional Ugandan dish made from plantains that are boiled and then mashed), up from that is a wedge of chapatti smothered in what I think was g-nut paste (g-nut, or ground-nut pasted food is food that is covered or cooked in a peanut butter sauce, which I LOVE), then around 10:00 was another piece of meat, then there was some cabbage salad and white rice at 11:00, and then at the top center there was pilau rice with beef (I also love the pilau seasoning, which I have described in an earlier post).

Wedding feast!

With the exception of the place I’d been before where you eat fish and chips with your hands, this was my first time since I’d been here eating my whole meal by hand (there were no utensils offered). It was fun, though took some concentration, since I had to hold the plate with my left hand while I scooped up food with my right. I tried watching people to get some pointers on how best to do it gracefully and without making a mess. Napkins are also not typically used here--I believe they are an amenity that most people did not grow up with --thus, they are often not available. It was way too much food. However, I didn’t want to appear ungrateful, so I did my best to eat as much as I could.  After we ate, there was a place to wash our hands.

After the wedding feast, the couple went to the dance floor for their first dance.  Usually, I love to dance, but given how much food I had just put away, I figured it was better to sit on the sidelines and watch. We stayed for a while longer, but then it started to rain just as they were about to toss the bouquet, so we made our exit.

All in all I had a really great time, and it was so neat to get to see how weddings are celebrated here – and to see some of the similarities and differences between Ugandan and American weddings.